Whispers of Love
by softsolutions
Summary: A slightly angsty one-shot. Reid and Morgan love each other, always have and always will. They were made for each other. Something changes their lives and Reid isn't able to handle it. T to be safe.


**Saturday, 2****nd**** February**

Spencer Reid sank deeper into his large leather armchair, clutching the thick book tighter in his grasp. It was a generally quiet night and the room was warm enough for the man to begin to feel sleepy as he read. When he finished the book, he looked up at a presence watching him.

"Derek," he spoke softly, admiration gracing his face.

The man smiled. "What's the matter? Why'd you stop reading?"

"I didn't notice you come in."

"I didn't want you to," Morgan said gently, still smiling. He moved towards his lover, placing his hand on the other's cheek, and sitting on the armrest. "But I have to say, I've been watching you for a good ten minutes or so and that book seems very interesting."

Reid blushed, placing it down so he could lean into the other. There was a light thud as it hit the table. "Your shower must have ended a while ago then." He inhaled. There was something about Derek's scent that felt so comforting, assuring and soothing. His eyes fluttered shut so his sense of smell would be heightened. The smell of aftershave filled his nose.

For a while, they held each other close, in the dim light of the nearby lamp then Morgan slid down and pulled Reid into his lap, kissing him chastely. The latter couldn't get rid of the red tinge that presented itself on his cheeks, not that he could really think much of it as the kiss shut down his brain.

When the elder made to pull away, Reid placed his hands on either side of his face and kissed him much deeper. Lack of oxygen prevented them from kissing too long and they eventually parted. Morgan stared into the other's brown eyes, panting slightly.

"I love you," Reid breathed out, slow and rasp.

"I love you too."

**Wednesday, 6****th**** February**

The sweet aroma of coffee wafted around Reid as he stepped into café. It was a local one, a few blocks away from his home. A phone call had brought the genius there, and he didn't know whether he truly wanted to come or not but he had anyway.

Only a few tables were taken: one by a sweet looking old man and his, what Reid assumed wife; a family of three, a mother and two daughters, and a dark haired man reading the newspaper. A few glances around the room and Reid had already decided he would sit by the window.

He walked to the counter and purchased two coffees and a slice of cake, before heading to his seat to be served. Spencer tapped his fingers on the light brown table as he looked out of the large glass windows. It seemed rather sunny and people were out enjoying themselves, despite it being quite early in the day.

"Here you go, dear," the barista beamed, laying down the cups of coffee and the dessert. "Enjoy."

He thanked her.

He mixed his sugar into his coffee and sighed, waiting, observing the icing on the cake. Reid then sipped his drink.

"Hey, Spence!" A pretty, slender blonde walked to his table, taking the seat opposite him and laying down her bag. "Sorry, I'm late, Henry was having a tantrum this morning and I could not get out of the house."

"It's alright," Reid said, pushing the cake and coffee closer to her.

"Thank you so much," JJ said, taking a long sip. "Ah, so how have things been for you? How are things at home? You look solemn."

He shrugged. "It's been okay."

Large blue eyes looked at him and a thin hand patted Reid's before retracting when she noticed him shift.

"Emily is worried about you," Jennifer said quietly.

"Yeah, I haven't been taking her calls lately."

"Well, I appreciate you agreeing to see me, but I still think you should see her." Then she added, "She misses you."

A guilty glance. He croaked, "I'm not ready."

**Thursday, 14****th**** February**

Rain poured down, forming lakes and rivers on the roads and sidewalks. A stray cat sat on the step of the building, sheltering itself away from the downpour. It purred as Reid turned the key and stepped inside.

He climbed the stairs, lugging up his baggage, and entered the apartment he shared with Morgan. Kicking off his shoes, he walked into the living room and chucked his bag and coat on the couch. Reid let out a deep breath.

"Home so soon?" a familiar voice sounded, chuckling. "I was enjoying the time without you." Morgan was leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed and a smirk evident on his face.

When the genius didn't answer, Morgan brushed up against his back, wrapping two firm arms around him. He kissed his neck. "Something wrong?"

"No."

Morgan hugged him tighter. He didn't want to upset him further. "I'm sorry I couldn't pick you up from the airport, babe."

After a few long breaths, Reid spun around, tears in his eyes. "I don't care about that. You know I don't. I just missed you, okay?"

The drops of salted water streamed down his face as he sobbed.

"Why are you crying? I missed you too, Spencer. Happy Valentine's Day," Derek whispered, feeling his own eyes sting. "Don't be silly, why are you crying? Talk to me. Is your mom getting better now?"

"I don't know but they say she could be getting worse," Reid replied. "I don't want to lose another loved one."

**Sunday, 17****th**** February**

As Reid left the grocery store, carrying several plastic bags of his weekly shopping, he kept his head down, sighing. Despite his resistance to admit so, Reid was exhausted. He had come back from Hotch's house late last night, discussing the former's return to the BAU, yet it seemed his insomnia decided to kick in at the worst time. But still, he trudged on home, wisps of his hair covering his face. It was very early in the morning, around six, but the local store was open at five.

Reid stopped at his building's door and placed the bags on the floor before getting out his key and unlocking the door. When he reached for his bags, he heard a familiar purring. Quickly, Spencer scooped the cat into his arms and made his way to his apartment.

Upon arrival, he let the cat jump out of his arms and wander the house, while he himself headed to the kitchen to pack away the food. A can of tuna was opened for the cat and poured into a small bowl.

"Who do we have here?"

Reid spun around. "Morgan, you love to come in unnoticed, don't you?"

"Kidnapping the neighbour's cat now, that's not like you," the man teased, bending down to pet the animal. It purred in appreciation.

"Up so early, that's not like you," he countered. "And I didn't kidnap it," Reid huffed, "It was a stray."

"Just to be sure, you should take it to the nearest vet and check for a microchip. Somebody might be missing this cutie pie."

Spencer poured out some water too and commented, "Always a man of reason."

"I just want to do what's best for everyone else," Morgan shrugged.

"That's what'll get you killed."

**Monday, 18****th**** February**

Profanities escaped Reid's lips as he sat on the back of an ambulance, his face being treated to. This was the first case he had been on with the BAU in a while and he did not miss the pain of antiseptic on wounds. It stung. Reid had been given a leave considering the recent events of his personal life yet already the male was sporting two gashes on his face and a fairly large bruise on his jaw. Luckily, he was maimed and not killed.

The outcome of the case was not as good as he hoped and after an intense fight, the unsub had stumbled and fell out of the window, cracking his spine and becoming paralysed.

Spencer called Morgan repeatedly on his phone but it always reached voicemail. Sighing, he gave up and decided to just see him at home.

Though the team were considering far away and out of earshot, Reid still noticed the glances towards him from both the blonde and brunette of the group. They were the two that did not seem to be actively taking part in the conversation going on between Hotch and Rossi.

JJ left the others and walked to Reid. "How are you holding up?"

"Fine, it's just a small cut, that's all."

"It's only been one day, Spence, I don't know whether you're accidental prone or whether people just want to ruin your pretty face," she chuckled. "I think Hotch will come over and talk to you, just as a head's up. I told Emily to stay clear until you want to talk to her. She had her heart set or sorting things out with you tonight."

Reid gave a small smile. "Thanks, JJ."

"No problem. Just don't be too harsh on her. It wasn't her fault, nor was it yours. None of us could control it or even see it coming."

After gently patting his shoulder, she turned and left, just as Hotch made his way to the male agent.

"Reid, well done today. You did great. There's no way we could have expected you to catch the unsub as soon as you did – I'm proud of you."

"Thank you," he spoke.

Hotch nodded and began to turn when he stopped. "Welcome back, Reid."

**Tuesday, 19****th**** February**

"Reid!" Morgan called, rushing to his boyfriend. "Your face. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," he assured, standing at the doorway, pulling the key out of the door.

Morgan hugged him and kissed his forehead. "Don't lie to me. Come in, already."

"It's just a few scratches from today. I caught the unsub though."

The elder's expression of concern shifted for a split second into pride before switching back to worry. "You hero," he whispered, hugging his boyfriend while he fingered his bruise.

Reid smiled and shut the door behind him and they both walked to the kitchen table together. "I missed you today."

"Me too."

Letting out a sigh, Reid turned to make coffee for the two of them as Morgan stood there, leaning against the wooden table. "I wish you could come back to the BAU."

"I do too," Derek said. "I'm sorry, I just can't."

"I understand," Reid mumbled. "You have to do other things. It's alright. Do you want some dinner? I'll make you some food." He began to run a saucepan under the tap, first washing it briefly before filling it up.

"Shouldn't I be making you food?"

"Why?"

Morgan smiled, chuckling, "I just thought with your injuries, you'd need a big strong man to help make food for you."

"I'm not a wuss."

"You sure?"

Reid threw a handful of water at the other, but missing. It hit the table with a splat. "That's it – I'm putting all the chilli powder we have left in your pasta."

"Didn't you just restock it the other day?"

"Yep."

**Sunday, 24****th**** February**

Late evening, Reid spooned soup into his mouth, the last of his bowl. He stifled a yawn and chucked his dishes into the sink before shuffling into his shared bedroom. In there, Morgan sat, back against the headboard and head titled slightly up, resting on the wall.

"Hi baby, do you want to come in bed?" he muttered quietly but sweetly.

Without a word, Reid climbed into bed and sat beside his lover, staring at his manly features and gorgeous complexion. He let out a sigh.

"Reid?"

"Why do you love me?"

Morgan replied instantly. "You're funny, thoughtful and ambitious; you make me learn things I have never known about myself; you're modest and you don't realise your own beauty and best of all, you're you."

"I love that you didn't mention my genius," Reid smiled gently.

Morgan grinned. "You're incredibly smart and beautiful too. But what sprung this up?"

"Sometimes, I wonder what love is. Because of my memory, I can easily look around and relay all the information I've ever known, all the philosophical books and articles I've read over the years and anything and everything people have told me, shown me.

"My friends, colleagues and relatives tell me how they feel when they're in love, when they're in relationships but if I'm honest, I can't fathom what it truly is. But when I'm with you, then I know, then I understand.

"You are love, you are what I need and crave for. I love you," Reid sighed. "I'm sorry for blabbering.

Staring deep into those sincere brown eyes, Morgan cupped his boyfriend's face and opened his mouth and if to speak, but shut it again, unable to find appropriate words. He was confused. Deeply. Slowly, he leaned forward until a hair breadth separated their lips and then he closed the gap.

Reid wrapped his arms around his neck, an unbearable feeling in his chest, pushing tears into his eyes. His breath quickened and his heart rate accelerated. The couple kissed each other so chastely until they melded into one another.

Whispers of sweet nothings filled the air and somehow, Reid decided he loved Morgan even more.

**Thursday, 28****th**** February**

Reid's phone rang the third time that day and he had no plans to answer. It had been raining all day.

"Not going to answer that?"

"No," Reid muttered, lying on the couch, his eyes closed and his arms folded. He felt rather sleepy. Morgan was sitting on the armchair, admiring his sweetheart.

"You know, you resemble an angel when you sleep."

A blush crept up on his face but he didn't reply. The day was rather slow and they had both decided to spend it indoors, together.

After a while, there was a knock on the door. Reluctantly, Reid stood up and headed to the front door. He didn't bother looking through the peephole; he already knew who was there.

Creaking the door opened, he saw Prentiss, standing there in her black coat, hands in her pocket. She was drenched. Her hair stuck to her face and neck, completely soaked, a weak smile on her face.

Reid didn't say a word but instead open the door wider for her to come through. He sat on the couch and she sat beside him.

"Emily," he finally managed out. For some reason, his voice had come out far strangled that he intended.

"Reid, look, we really need to talk. About what happened," she said softly.

Reid clenched his fists. "Why? Why do we need to talk about anything? Why are you even here? Haven't you done enough?"

"Spence," Morgan spoke for the first time since Prentiss arrived. He used his voice to comfort the other.

"Spencer, please, I beg you, please, just listen to me, to what I've got to say. You need to know what happened that night." She had grasped his hand and was holding it to her chest with both of her own hands. When there wasn't a response, Prentiss continued. She decided he would already know what she would be talking about. "Hotch wanted you and I to go in, undercover, that case," she began, "but Morgan, he wouldn't have any of it. They argued for a while and from what I heard, Hotch was angry that Morgan let you interfere with the jobs and his decision.

"You were obviously best suited for the job – you had all the chemistry knowledge, I mean, there's a reason we call you doctor," Prentiss smiled slightly. "You could have easily posed as a chemistry professor and gone in, nobody would have known. You were the obvious choice. It's not as if you can't defend yourself but you know Derek and what he's like. He would have never wanted you to be anywhere near a killer.

"He went in with me. That part you know. When John Schofield fired that shot, it was directed at me. Morgan jumped in front of me to save me. He told me that he knew you would have done the same thing, and he could only hope to be as heroic as you. Derek told me he loved you and that he was glad you didn't have to see him die otherwise you'd replay the scene over and over with your perfect memory. Yes, he died because of me, but I just thought you deserved to know that he was thinking of you and even with his last breath he spoke of nothing but you. Reid, Morgan loved you so much and I'm so sorry."

By now, Emily's face was streaked with tears as she drawled out the sentences.

"Prentiss," Reid said, sharply, "What are you talking about? Morgan's alive; he's sitting right there."

Her head snapped up and her head stared at where he pointed but she saw emptiness. "I don't understand. What are you trying to tell me?"

Reid stood up and grabbed Morgan's hand but realised he didn't feel warmth, he felt nothing. Morgan wasn't there.

He was never there.

"Emily." His voice cut her like a knife. She never knew she could be so afraid of someone she loved so dearly. "You have to go now."

She nodded and hugged him tight before getting up and going.

Reid sat there for a while, motionless. He cried.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he whispered to the figure before him, a figment his imagination.

"You already knew. You always knew."

It made sense. It had always made sense. The untouched meals, the sudden appearances, his inability to do anything. Even when he threw water at him and it went straight through him and onto the table. It was simply because Derek Morgan did not exist. Anymore.

His world, Reid's entire world felt fragmented in that second and as each piece of the real world came together, his fantasy separated further and further away.

"I'm sorry," his love spoke.

Reid closed his eyes, letting the tears slide down his face. He had no intention of moving. For hours, he sat on the floor, weeping. In his hand, he held a small wallet size photo of himself and the team, but most importantly of Morgan, hugging him close, smiling brilliantly.

His heart was broken.

**Friday, 1****st**** March**

February had passed. In that month, Reid had learnt how willing he was to keep someone he loved in his life. After excluding himself from the world around him, he had created an image and voice that matched his lover, a spirit, and it always remained in the house, the one place Morgan and Reid were constantly together. It was their apartment. Even Reid has begun to believe it, to truly live it.

When March began, this imagined spirit of Morgan deceased, as did Reid. He was found dead in his home, a clean gunshot to his head. Suicide. Prentiss had made amends with Reid; she was the last person he spoke to.

The value of love can never be calculated. Love is merely a fictional concept but it killed. Spencer Reid found his place with Derek Morgan, the only love he's ever truly had. The one person who was able to show him what it meant to love.

The people of Quantico moved at a busy pace, never really stopping. Never really appreciating their surroundings.

**Author's Note:**

Hello, so this is my second published fic and yet, I haven't introduced myself. Sorry for my impoliteness. I feel like I've rushed the end of this fic, so let me know what you think. It was originally going to be far longer but I don't seem to be able to write too much. Anyway, I'm very grateful towards those who have subscribed, favorited and given feedback to my previous fiction. I hope this is the start of a beautiful friendship but for now, farewell.

_softsolutions_


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